


Purple Beats Red

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Literally every trigger, M/M, Oh my god what do I even tag this, Rape, Self Harm, Suicide Attempt, its so messed up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-20
Updated: 2014-07-20
Packaged: 2018-02-09 15:20:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1987821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Gamzee breaks Karkat</p>
            </blockquote>





	Purple Beats Red

It's 12:00 at night 

You can't fall back asleep. You were asleep but the nightmare had rattled you again, as it does almost every night. The memory refuses to be forgotten and haunts you perpetually. 

It's 12:30 at night 

His hot breath you can feel on your breath, and you start hyperventilating. You don't want to have to relive that night ever again, let alone most nights. 

It's 12:40 at night

You stare into the bathroom mirror, so many bags under your eyes it looks like someone punched you in both of your eyes simultaneously. You brush your teeth furiously, tearing your gums apart in the process, red blood dripping down your chin. A chuckle escapes your lips, you had always been so scarred that someone would kill you for your blood color - you are still not very open about it - But now you almost wish you had been culled back on Alternia. It would have saved you all these problems. 

It's 12:45 at night

You are now scrubbing your face with the toothbrush, for some reason. You wonder if you have gone completely mad yet. It's not unlikely. You can't stand... The thought... He said you were his "best friend"... While tearing you apart. You scrub at your face harder, hoping that if you scrubbed hard enough you could make it to you brain and erase any memory of him, any, forever. 

It was 12:50 at night 

You were alone in the common room, everyone else had gone off to sleep a while ago. You were reading Rose's journal, it was pretty boring but you weren't tired and there was little else to do. 

It was 1:00 in the early morning 

Gamzee entered through the apearafier. 

KARKAT: GAMZEE! ITS ABOUT TIME YOUR ASS MADE AN APPEARANCE, YOUVE BEEN GONE FOR ALMOST A MONTH.  
GAMZEE: :o)  
KARKAT: DONT GIVE ME THAT FUCKING LOOK TRASH FOR BRAINS  
GAMZEE: :o)  
KARKAT: UGH WHATEVER. ILL JUST BE OVER HERE, OKAY

You walked back over to the chair you were sitting in, not paying too much attention to the mentally unstable clown in the room, which you regret now. Gamzee put his hands on your shoulders and picked you up, and you were amazed at how strong he was. You knew he was a highblood but he was even scrawnier than you. 

KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK GAMZEE  
GAMZEE: just MOTHERFUCKING stay still and calm the MOTHERFUCK down 

He tightened his grip on your shoulder and you seriously started to freak out. You swung your fist up to punch him in the face, but he avoided it. 

KARKAT: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU GAMZEE  
KARKAT: LET ME GO

You flailed in his grip but he showed no signs of intending to let you go, his face mostly expressionless but hinting at amusement. He said "ok" unexpectedly and dropped you on the floor like a bag of bones, but he had you pinned down before you could run away. He roughly ripped your sweater off and threw it off to the side. You tried to scream but couldn't. Some rope was taken from one of Gamzee's catchphalogue cards in his insane modus, and he bound your wrists securely to a table leg. 

You screamed at him to stop and tried to kick him away, but he tied your ankles together and kneed on your legs to keep them down. It was pretty obvious you were fucked. 

"I thought I told you to MOTHERFUCKIN CALM DOWN," Gamzee yelled in your face, looking truly pissed off. He took one of the quite common food canisters that were laying around and smacked you in the face with it. "Now are you gonna be chill or are we gonna have A PROBLEM, SHITBLOOD," he practically screamed in your ear. "WELL," he demanded. You worriedly said you'd be "chill" as he had "requested." "GOOD," he said, pleased, "your voice is scratchy when you aren't screaming. talk quiet more often." That awful smile crossed his face like it had earlier. 

"You're going to be so MOTHERfucKING good KARBRO," he said looming over your body. Never before had you felt so tiny. You decided to try to tune out what he was doing to you, but it was pretty hard with his disgusting purple tongue so far down your throat you thought you'd puke. (You did, but not right then). You couldn't help it, tears poured down your face relentlessly. He pulled down your pants and underwear, and you heard the button snap off completely. 

This kind of thing was supposed to be normal in troll society, lowbloods were expected to lay back as highbloods fucked them. It wasn't anything to make a fuss about. Who cares if you didn't like it if you were a shitblood, you didn't know what was good for you, you were asking for it by being outside, you should be happy that you were able to please someone so noble in your fucking pathetic life. But then, why were you crying if it was such a normal, acceptable thing? 

You've never wanted to remember it in detail, but you've had to every time your brain wants to replay the worst half hour of your life. One of the worst, you correct yourself. You've had too many worst half hours of your life. 

Gamzee grinned and shoved two fingers into your nook, roughly spinning them around to make it open enough to accommodate the size of his bulge. With his other hand he started jacking you off, and then sucking your bulge. You remember loudly whispering "no" and "stop" over and over again. You pretty much slipped into a subconscious state shortly after you released all over your exposed torso and the floor, but you remember feeling yourself tear as he jammed his member in. 

It was 1:34 in the too early morning 

You woke up covered in vomit, tears, blood, hickeys, sores, and genetics. You cried anew when you saw the smiley clown face he scratched into your arm. The bastard stole your clothes you realized, and your swore not so silently. You hated him more than you ever had before. PLATONICALLY. You shuttered at the thought of actually being in any relationship ever again with him, or anyone else honestly (to a lesser extent). 

You wiped up the body fluids with some towels gamzee "considerately" left for you. You threw most of them away after that, but kept one for cover up. After a while of you nakedly sobbing in the room you decided to run back to your respiteblock. 

You never told anyone about how you and your moirial "broke up" that night. 

It's 1:03 in the early morning, back in the present

You stare into the mirror, a desperate look on your face. You live in fear that he'll come after you again, because why wouldn't he? Your door is kept locked now, and you only venture out once a week or so for food and supplies. The others were concerned about you for a month or so, Kanaya or Dave often pounding on your door for upwards of 15 minutes while you yelled at them to piss off. Someone comes to check up on you only occasionally now, probably just wondering if you were dead yet. You wish you were. 

You take the razor out of the drawer under the sink and make 10 slices on the top of your left forearm, the first the lightest, and the last the deepest. The last two probably need stitches, but there's no time for that. You are shaking now, but you forget about him for a moment as you watch your gross red blood stream off your arm and hit the ground, making polkadots on the bathroom floor. You look at the clown face that you have carved into your right wrist, right where he had drawn it, a permanent reminder. Your head spins and you sit down, then fall down on your side and pass out.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm probably making one more chapter. I'm sorry this is so fucked up why did I write it


End file.
